Resolutions Schmesolutions

Sooo… how’s 2019 going? Busy? Same! If I had made a resolution to post more often on this blog, I would have failed already.

I once read an article from someone who, instead of setting resolutions each year, looked back and listed everything she’d accomplished over the past year. I was inspired! You mean, all those resolutions that we’re told to make every year that we feel bad about failing every year aren’t a requirement of humanity? I stopped making resolutions for the new year from that moment on.

I honestly can’t say at what point in my life I was introduced to the concept of New Year’s resolutions. But the overall gist that I got was to set a goal for bettering yourself or your situation to accomplish within the year. That really doesn’t sound too bad when you put it that way, but here’s the thing(s). In doing this, we…

 1.) …look at ourselves and think, "How can I be better?" and then we make umpteen resolutions to get there within one. single. year. Um, am I so terrible that I need to change something about myself every year? I think not. I mean, I like me.

Example Resolution: Be More Organized — In my office the other day, I needed a display for donor brochures, so I used my desk organizer. To be honest, it was barely cutting it as an organizer, but was the perfect solution for the display. Obviously, then I needed a serious solution for my desk. So I searched for options on Amazon, placed and received my order, put them together, and organized my desk. Boom. More organized. Does that count? It should. Why are we creating so much pressure to complete our resolution in some big, impressive way?

2.) … forget that not everything is within our control in this universe. Things can happen that can completely change our paths in life, which may in turn change our goals and aspirations.

Example Resolution: Start a New Program at Work — This was my goal a few years back, but then I got let go because the executive director didn’t plan the finances properly and they cut positions that other similar organizations did without. My goal became unattainable, so was I a failure for someone else’s mismanagement of money? Hmm… again, I think not.

So instead of accomplishing that goal, I got a new job and helped save thousands of dogs and cats from being euthanized in shelters and I adopted my lovely pup! Pretty good accomplishments, I’d say.

3.) … are so busy focusing on what we “need” to change in the coming year that we neglect to reflect on all that we've accomplished in the closing one. Do I think each new year represents a new start? Totally. Do I think each new year can be better than the year before? Sure! Do I want to be a kinder, more considerate human who has her life running smoothly, is stress-free, and is super healthy? One-hundred percent! But making all of these resolutions on new year’s day without any action plan and milestones just doesn’t work for me.

Okay, so maybe you don’t view the annual tradition of resolutions the same way I outlined in 1-3, but I certainly did and I needed a new approach. So instead I approach life like this:

I want to be a happy and healthy person. Happy on Wednesday might mean zeroing out my inbox. Happy on Friday might mean grabbing a beer with friends. Happy on Sunday might mean finally collecting all of those addresses we need for wedding invitations. Healthy on Tuesday might mean choosing to go to Pilates even though I’m not feeling it that day. Healthy on Monday might mean choosing grilled chicken over fried. Healthy on Saturday might mean eating that cupcake anyway because balance is healthy.

I plan some things and handle others as they come up. I don’t look for a goal. This is life, something will come up on its own; and when that challenge presents itself, I set milestones to reach a solution.

And most importantly, I look back at my year and reflect on all of my accomplishments, which I define as moments that led to my happiness or healthiness.

Sure, when you reflect back, there will be negative moments, but think of how you dealt with them. Did you meet them head on? Celebrate your strength. Did someone help you through them? Be thankful for and say thank you to that person. Did you learn a valuable lesson? Remember it and implement it.

Looking back and discovering what brought me closer to who I want to be helps me recognize those moments in everyday life as I’m living them and those patterns over the years. I’m practicing living in those moments and catching onto the pattern (it’s a work in progress) and seeing how doing so shapes the path for my overall life goals. So instead of making new resolutions each year, I’m trying to live a life where those resolutions aren’t necessary because I’m already keeping my overall life goal in the back of my mind and implementing it in the smallest decisions and actions. We’re humans; we’re imperfect. We’ll always be a work in progress, so why should that journey be so harsh? Enjoy the process.

xoxo,

K