Baby J's Birth Story

Prior to pregnancy, I’d heard plenty of birth stories from friends and the women in my family who’d all bore children before me. I had also read so many in the birthing book that I perused during my pregnancy. The takeaway that I got was that every single birth is different — some women even have different experiences from one kid to the next. However, they all seemed to agree on one thing – it hurts like hell.

When it came time to give birth to Baby J, it was easier than all of the birth stories that I’d ever read or heard, and therefore better than I had imagined it. Before you continue forward, know that this in no way a brag, it just is what it is. While there were moments of pain, I had a smooth childbirth and am very fortunate to have done so. I understand that not everyone’s experience will be or was this way and reading about a smooth birth could be triggering for those who’ve had traumatic experiences. If you think that's you, please skip this post and come back for another.

Here's Baby J's birth story!

After one of my close friends had a horrible birth story (she and her little one are doing great), I recounted it to my cousin who'd had a baby a few months before that and said that I needed to hear a smoother story or else I may choose to never have kids. After sharing her story, she gave me the best advice — don't make a detailed birth plan, communicate with your doctor, nurse, and partner about what you want, and know what the options are before you go in.

Once I got pregnant, I read just one birthing book — Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. From the beginning, I had no intentions of giving birth without an epidural, but my cousin said this book would detail various pain management options, birthing techniques, and delivery tools and how they affect mama and baby.

I learned so much, including what I would be okay with and what I absolutely did not want. I came up with a long list of questions for my OB and then I came up with a birth plan:

• Give birth to a healthy, living child.

• Go as long as possible without an epidural so that I could move around, but then still have an epidural.

• Avoid pain management options that would make me groggy when I met my baby for the first time and that would negatively affect the baby’s heart rate.

That was my entire plan and it was enough. My OB said that should any issues arise during the birthing process, the doctors wouldn't do anything without my permission so I'd have time to ask questions, assess the situation, and make a decision on how to move forward.

My final bumpdate before heading to the hospital.

Flash forward in my pregnancy — I passed my glucose test. Flash forward again, my baby's belly was at a higher percentile while the rest of her was normal. Apparently, this can indicate a glucose sensitivity even though the mama has passed her glucose test. Who knew? Not I! So I was put on a low (I’m talking 30g-a-day low) carb diet to make sure she didn't get too much bigger. Talk about doing whatever it takes for our kids — no sushi, alcohol, cold deli meats, and now no carbs?! Oi. We also scheduled an induction for 39 weeks in hopes of avoiding shoulder dystocia and having a successful vaginal delivery.

I had only seen one doctor during my entire pregnancy (I like consistency and she was great), but sadly, she wasn’t on rotation to deliver our little nugget. I set up induction with another doctor about whom I’d heard good things. As fate would have it, she was the only doctor I could see for my final ultrasound the day before my induction, so I was able to meet her prior to heading to the hospital!

Induction day rolled around and I was scheduled to be at the hospital by 7:30 p.m. I took one last bumpdate photo and pictures of Baby J’s nursery (more on that later). Mr. Heid and I packed some last-minute items (more on that later, too), showered, brushed our teeth, and headed out for some solid comfort food – I had sweet potato casserole, chicken pot pie, and loaded mashed potato casserole, while he had fried chicken, fried green tomatoes, and loaded mashed potato casserole. It. was. grand. (and don’t worry, my doctor told me that carbs in my pre-hospital meal wouldn’t hurt me or the baby).

That Tuesday evening, I started Cytotec to thin my cervix. I had four total doses. At 9 a.m. the next day, my nurse gave me Pitocin to start my dilation and she patiently answered all of my questions about how it should work and what I should feel. She explained that it typically takes about 30 minutes to hit a mama’s system and that the contractions should gradually increase from there. Not for me, apparently.

The Pitocin hit me and I had full-blown contractions by 9:20 a.m. They were two minutes apart and I thought I was going to die. Mr. Heid tried to assure me that I was fine and to breathe through it. I asked him to get the nurse. My nurse was tending to another patient, so another came in to assist. She also assured me that what I was feeling was natural and that both baby and I were fine (later, my husband recounts this and points out that he said the same thing but that I was mean to him #bless). Another contraction came up and I yelled, “Fuuuuck!” to which she responded, “Yep, that’s what it feels like.” Ha!

She offered me pain medication, but I was in too much pain to respond properly. Thankfully, per my cousin’s advice, I had prepped Mr. Heid on what to ask and he asked all of the right questions. Off she went to get the meds. My nurse came back and offered me the epidural. I was three cm dilated and she didn’t think it was too soon (and I’d read that the epidural does not, in fact, slow down dilation), so I accepted. Over the next 30 minutes (or at least, that’s how long I was told the process would take), my nurse taught me how to sit and breathe for when they put in the epidural and walked me through the IVs she was administering. Mr. Heid tried to make jokes (seriously, #bless).

The anesthesiologists prepped my back for the epidural. I specifically remember them telling me that I needed to stay very still. I asked, “But what if a contraction comes?” One of them responded, “It will, and that’s okay.” Somehow, that made me feel better. The pain of the epidural going in was nothing compared to the contractions, so that was a breeze. Then they laid me back and all was right with the world. I couldn’t feel pain, only pressure, and I was able to relax again. The anesthesiologists came to check on me and told me I was beautiful (you can never have too many compliments while going through the birthing process). Then Mr. Heid and I slept. My sleep was broken up by my nurse checking my cervix and my own mind (as I was concerned the anesthesia would make its way up to my chest and I wouldn’t be able to breathe (eye roll)).

At 11:47 a.m. I felt Baby J kick and my water break. Sometime after 1 p.m., I can’t say for certain when, my nurse came in and stated that I was 10 cm dilated. I said, “Oh, now what?” and she said, “Now, we push!” Mr. Heid woke up immediately after that. I gave him a thumbs up and said, “It’s time to push!” The nurse informed the doctor and her team and set up my bed for delivery. She took one leg and had Mr. Heid take another. She instructed both of us on what to do next… him – hold my knee and push the sole of my foot towards my body as she did the same; me – hold both of my thighs and pull them toward my chest and when she said to push I needed to take a deep breath like I was going underwater and push as if I was taking a bowel movement (not as if I was crunching my abs). We did this twice and the baby crowned. The doctor and her team were brought in and finished setting up. When she was in position, we all did the process again, but it only took one slow push for Baby J to be born! It was easy peasy, and there are no words to express the following:

• my gratitude for how easy it was and how great my healthcare team was

• the amount of relief that she was born healthy and without complication

• the oddity of the sensation of a baby exiting my body

• the amount of love I felt when I heard, saw, met, and held her for the first time

It’s all a whirlwind, now, so I don’t know what happened in what order, but for sure, I heard little Baby J’s cry and I was crying. I cried so much that when they laid her on my chest, it took a minute of blinking away tears before I could see her clearly. She was perfect. I looked at Mr. Heid, who was all smiles, and said, “We did it! Look our beautiful baby girl!”

Cheers,

K